Struggle for Survival

  I have a number of times been revising and reworking my attitudes toward work and competitive life. It's almost a kind of curse-word, to say that the world is competitive, especially when educational theories are really stressing the value of cooperation in achieving the same shared ends. But when I stopped to reflect on it today, even cooperative learning implies a kind of push toward continual improvement in performance and operations. I wonder, how does the contemplative practice of meditation relate to competition? Does it enhance competition, hinder it or transform it in some way?
     I am starting to reflect that there is nothing inherently vexing about 'competing', particularly when one isn't attaching to 'me' competing with 'you'. Now is it possible to experience competing without experiencing a separate "I" and "you"? I think that there is an ability in me to see a drive toward more efficiency that is not tied up with others at all. It's almost like a kind of acceptance that humans do live in a world where there are comparisons made. It doesn't mean that anyone is identified with those comparisons, but on the other hand it's not to be lulled into a comforting illusion that comparisons don't exist. So there is a sense that there is no need to expect comparison or competition to go away.
    On the other hand, it's also important not to be too identified with competitive spirits at work. Of course, the idea is to do one's very best work given the circumstances- and think of new ways to improve one's way of work. But then the trap becomes when a person starts to assign credit to different people, based on their subjective notions of who contributes what and at what amount. That is when human 'output' is measured, often without any nuanced observation of how work is done and how people experience working life. But if we don't know how people work and what people experience in working, what or how can we measure anything related to performance? This is a grey area, because in the end, all designations of value are quite subjective. Not only that, but whenever I feel I am off the mark of where I need to be, a tension takes shape in mind. And strangely, the only way to resolve it is by doing what one imagines will get them 'further' in life. But this too is subjective, and it can create all sorts of feelings of unease.
     Another way of putting it is that life is full of movement but one should never be quick to judge the result as 'better' than the beginning. A more apt metaphor at work might be to refer to cycles. Sometimes a person works, sometimes rests; sometimes leads and sometimes yields. The situations might call for different things, and all one can do is flow naturally with cycles of pressure while not identifying with it. Could competition just be one of many dances that human beings do to convey cosmic movement? If so, how did it ever become about  fixed, quantifiable result?