Kindness for Others

   How people react to us may not be under our control. People may not like us and might find fault with us. So what is within our control, then? I think the vow to be kind is within our control. 

   For instance, I can vow to treat others as I would wish to be treated, so that I can feel that I have done my most sincere effort. Even if others don't reciprocate or even treat me unkindly, at least I can feel that I did my part and put my best effort into being open and sincere. The fact is, this already creates a kind of warmth within us so that we never really feel alone.

    I believe that at the end of the day, we are always interfacing with our mental state. Two people walk into a room and may see completely different things. The way we see things is impacted by our mindset. Do we view the world with suspicion, with paranoia and fear, or do we see that the world has abundant gifts, and everyone (without exception) is gifted? In choosing the former option, we make ourselves miserable, by always feeling that we can be ousted by someone else for something we do or say wrongly. In choosing the latter, we make the decision to see ourselves as living in an abundant universe. All this requires is a less attached and more generous, trusting view. 

   We already have the deepest gift within us--a divine nature or Buddha nature--which is not subject to the fluctuations of impermanent phenomena. Knowing this, we have much more we can give to others. We are no longer desperately hoarding our treasures. In fact, we have a gift that can give and never be taken away from us because it is our deepest heart that is universal to all.

Not Identifying

 When we can relax our minds and just enjoy the moment, what happens? First, we realize that we don't need to carry the burden of a self. Past actions, present actions, even future actions--all of these are just actions that have causes and effects. There is no need to bind these together into the belief in a unified self. Causes have consequences, but there is always room to create better consequences. This is why we sincerely repent of any previous mistakes and make the resolve to do better in the future.

   Does this mean that one should just forget about the past and take a carefree approach to life? To the contrary, I'd like to suggest that a sober and contrite view of one's previous mistakes allows a person to firmly internalize cause and effect. They will realize that actions do have consequences and take more precautions not to repeat the same mistakes again. At the same time, however, we should not conclude that just because I made a mistake, I am defined exclusively by that mistake. Mistakes don't define who I am. They don't even properly encapsulate the complex emptiness --the ever changing nature of causes and conditions that compose consciousness and the five skandhas. So yes, do learn from your past mistakes and honor them, but don't take them as permanently real. They aren't! They are just one of many instances and episodes of life.

    Even if people dislike us for what we did in the past, we are not bound by others' judgments either. We can rest in the stillness of mind that is not defined by causes and effects. This awareness pervades all the directions. It is truly still even in the midst of turbulence because it is ultimate awareness, which has an empty and selfless nature.

Seeing Things "As They Are"

  We often talk about "seeing things as they are" from a Buddhist perspective. But what does that really mean?  How can we truly "see things as they are"?

I'd like to outline a few important points for clarification:

a) Seeing things as conditioned while the nature of mind is "unconditioned". That means, whatever has happened is part of a greater unfolding stream of conditioned arising. Experience rises and falls, one after the other, as a result of prior causes and supporting conditions, This conditioned mind is what Master Sheng Yen has called "impermanent mind" However, our minds are not governed by these conditioned experiences. In fact, mind itself is fundamentally unconditioned. No matter what kinds of experiences flow through, our awareness itself is not "tainted" by those experiences. It is always fundamentally pure. Even if someone says that you are "impure", what they are seeing is only the phenomena. They are not witnessing the true mind that is behind the phenomena.

b) Seeing things as they are is not escapist and nor is it pessimistic. Pessimistic views suggest that we can't influence our present moment. Escapism suggests that there is something beyond this world from which we can be rescued. But neither of these theories holds correct. We can learn to be happy and present with whatever is happening to us now. And we recognize, nothing that happened in the past can prevent us from cultivating real contentment.

What gets in the way of this?

a) Believing that we have to be perfect, infallible beings, who have perfect reputations with everyone and are meant to be unchanging. (this is belief in a false reified permanent self, rather than realizing that we can change our thinking all the time). Even a piece of rock is not 100% permanent. It too is subject to erosion and wear.

b) Believing that we are somehow undeserving of love and or permanently worthy of blame. This is not a very compassionate view. It resides in the deluded notion that people are fixed entities. In fact, given encouragement and positive reinforcement, ALL humans are indeed capable of a great deal of good. If we are supported, we can do almost anything. So we should believe in our capacities to improve, rather than getting mired in the muck of blame--the "blame game", in other words. If someone thinks otherwise, then they are just not being supportive-perhaps because they didn't get support in their lives! If someone thinks this way about us, why should we bother with that view? It's not very nice or encouraging. So we can choose not to adopt it for ourselves. Life is short! Who needs it? I don't. You don't either!

In other words, seeing things as they are means, look forward to being a better version of you. Life is changing all the time; you are learning and growing and changing. Work hard every day at the things you need to do, but don't damn yourself for your past imperfections. Since life is short and we are not here for very long, we don't need to always condemn ourselves. 

C.P. Snow's Novels

 "It might be a good idea if each of us accepted just what his enemies said; it might make us better, and the world too. It would certainly rub into us that we were all miserable sinners" (CP Snow, Corridors of Power, Penguin Books, p.332)

I quite enjoy reading C.P. Snow's novels. One of the reasons I enjoy them is that they essentially explore how people in power interact with each other to gain influence, negotiate for power, lose gracefully, and gain credibility. These novels aren't terribly dramatic in the sense that there aren't any car chases or murder scenes. Instead, the drama plays out slowly and in conversation. All the characters in Snow's novels illustrate the concept that people are similar in their desire for success, to look good in others eyes, for status, and to save face. Acknowledging this, the characters work through their differences and help each other to gain what they need, knowing that they have similar needs. I like the civility of the characters and their recognition of fallibility or what Snow sees as sinfulness.

Snow's world is different from the world I live in. It's definitely a world where people work together to get what they need and know how to be graceful to each other. There is a sense of belonging in the stories that attracts me.

Handling Bodily Pains and Afflictions

     Sensation need not be something that I can make a story out of. That is, even painful sensations can just be viewed as phenomena that arise in the mind. When I remind myself that pain is temporary, fleeting and a mental construct, then I can relate to it more as a moment-to-moment experience. I need not be tied to it. I need not embellish on it or create a story out of it. It can be seen for what it is, just one of many momentary situations.

     When I am with my sensations, then I can relate to them in a friendlier and more curious, spacious manner. That is to say, they are not my enemies. I am able to see them as something that temporarily arises, then passes away, from one moment to the next. Now, I am no longer identified with these sensations. I can just appreciate them as the workings of complex causes and conditions. This can also most certainly help me to better focus on what needs to be done.

   Pain can be a stabilizer of the mind. It can be used as a way to focus on what matters the most. For instance, with pain, we can prioritize the thoughts that are most needed. And we can even use the pain to practice not adding panicked thoughts or judgments to it. If we are able to alleviate the pain, then by all means, we can put our best efforts into it. However, if we can't influence the pain in any way, then it's best not to add anxiety to it. In other words, we don't try to control what is not within our control, but to simply allow it to happen, once we have exhausted all the possibilities. This is one way that we can learn to separate what is in our control from what is not.

    

        

Adversities

  When facing adversities, it's always helpful to ask certain questions. Firstly, do we know the whole picture? Sometimes, we might be worried about a few isolated factors, and not have a clear picture of what is happening, so we find ourselves trying to piece together the whole from the isolated pieces we know. So, we might be filling in things that aren't part of the full picture.

   Second, is what we are experiencing permanent? Usually not! Surprisingly, what seems like a "forever" thing turns out to be something that has different phases. A pain in the body may feel bad on a certain day, but it ebbs and the body later finds ways to adapt to the situation. So, we can pay attention to whether the experience is fixed in one place, or if it might have different unfolding phases.

    Third, is the adversity something I can change? Or, conversely, is there something I can do to better relate to adversity? Perhaps we can see adversity as exciting, as a challenge to be overcome, or as a learning process. In these cases, I don't make the dire conclusion that the adversity is "all bad", a "catastrophe" or "doom". I leave open a space in the heart where I can connect more spaciously with it, taking a more logical and reasonable approach to it rather than simply wanting it to go away.

     So, to reiterate, adversity might involve asking ourselves whether we know all the full picture, whether we are seeing something fixed/eternal, and whether there are things I can do to allow the situation to sit better with me. 

Delightful Skies

  The sky is beautiful for all beings, on all occasions. There is no need to hoard the sky or even the clouds. They belong to everyone who can see or who imagines. When we open to this reality--that the sky is owned by all---then we can also open our hearts, minds and vision.

    What prevents us from delighting in the sky? I would say, attachment to the clouds , or the thoughts that circulate in our minds. As soon as there is an attachment to thoughts, we start to proliferate and identify with them until they become our prison. Anytime we catch ourselves suffering, it's because we are jammed in thoughts, especially anxious or grasping thoughts, especially about wanting to be something o someone. And this leads to a sense of discontentment.

   I truly believe that education must teach us the basic of contentment. Without inner contentment--the ability to appreciate the free sky--we become consumers of, or consumed by, our thoughts. This is a genuine hazard that we need to learn to release at any given moment.

   Delight begins when we practice just awareness. This is not the same as being intelligent. It simply starts with unembellished awareness. Resting in awareness is the beginning of real peace.