Great Tolerance

   Ven ChangYun talked about tolerance during our group meditation practice tonight. What is tolerance, I wonder? The term reminds me of when I was very young and I was forced to swallow food that I didn't like, such as really stale sandwiches. I was learning "tolerance" mentally, but physically I think I rejected the food. So where does tolerance come from?

   When I reflect deeply on tolerance, I think that most of the time, I have subconscious vexations: thoughts in my mind that are so hidden or embedded that they create pressure without me realizing it. This is almost like wearing tight clothing for all of one's life, only to realize how tight they were when one wears the clothes appropriate to one's body size. Tolerance can become thin if one's thoughts are oppressive. But another enemy of tolerance is having too many wants. If I want to travel and find I have only certain number of days' vacation, I find myself trying to save vacation here and there, and I feel constrained. With fewer desires for something better, I can take one step at a time and treat each of my day to day tasks with a sense of earnestness. In this way, there is so little that I need to do in the moment. I believe that when there is less mental pressure, there is much more room for tolerance. But I need to think on this topic a little more to fully understand and appreciate it.