Courage of Foolishness

    Sometimes I do foolish things at work--doing things that don't really have a value to anyone, except a few managers and the like. I do foolish things by adhering to outdated principles, or blindly following my own habits, or even in doing "nothing at all". Foolishness is the opposite of wisdom, and for many, it can be the greatest source of suffering. However, I would like to suggest that sometimes there is a courage in continuing to be foolish or absurd, while also keeping an eye on something that can be improved or advanced.

   I listened to a video by Master Sheng Yen last week where he talked about the concept of reasonableness in Buddhism. Master Sheng Yen suggests that many of our ideas of what is "reasonable" are simply passed down from previous generations and are the influence of culture rather than actual reasoning. We do things that seem reasonable when, in fact, they are based on taboo, prejudice or even superstition. Anything that worked well in the past can suddenly mean nothing in the present, and may not achieve our original aims, so I have to choose between staying the course or innovating. I think what Master Sheng Yen tried to say (as I understand it) is that it's not always easy to distinguish custom from reason, and reasonable might just mean law-abiding and conforming for the sake of harmony with the greater society. This doesn't mean we are always acting in the most effective or best way.

   But then there is also the "foolishness" of risking oneself. That is: doing something that people may not like or approve of, but standing firmly on it because we have the confidence of knowing we did the best we could and it's right for us. This doesn't mean being inflexible, but it means being able to stand in one place and allow criticism of what we have created. There isn't always a need to apologize for this state of foolishness, and it may end up becoming wisdom in the end.

    Sometimes we don't know why things are happening, but we might reflect: things happen for mysterious reasons that will make sense at a later time, especially when the mind is calm and more settled. It's terrible to make hasty decisions in a split second when the mind is vexed and we are upset or just frazzled and stressed. In those moments, we might feel that staying still is dangerous and risky (even foolish, perhaps) but on the other hand, it's the only thing we can do before we can find a better path in our profession and in our creative life.

Illusions of Security

  I have been reflecting recently on the trade wars and looming possibility of recession. I have realized how mistaken to think that one could retire early or even rely on my present employment to protect me from the possible crisis ahead.  Many people will lose jobs, and I have even been thinking, there is not much difference between myself and someone who is unemployed or homeless. Is there anything that I can rely on for a source of security? I don't think such a thing as security really exists in a true way; it's only fleeting and illusory.

    People who delve with the stock market are kind of playing mental games. They think they know how to bank their money to maximize returns, but it's really a gamble that is dependent on a great many things. There is never any guarantee in life that people will gain in the long term, and I think it's silly that I would imagine myself retiring or even deriving a sense of security from the number of years I have worked, let alone the money in the bank. 

     And then I thought, since this over-reliance on external forces is quite foolish, I must turn inward to find a sense of ontological security, or security simply in being present, or being in the moment. If I am ever going to be homeless, I should at least be a joyful homeless person--leaving behind my sense of failure and regret, to face the wind and rain with a sense of peace in the present. Even if I am starving, I should also enjoy the sensation of hunger rather than being afraid of it. And in that sense, I will find a deeper sense of security as opposed to these illusory dog-chasing-tail stock markets.

  The idea of being able to rest from work is probably not a good idea to adopt. We should always expect to work until our dying day, and at least look for work. After all, work is our contribution to society. If we don't contribute our value to society, then we are simply waiting for ground zero, and this is not true peace or happiness.

    I have given up the hope of retirement. I will struggle and work until I die. I vow to at least be cheerful and take life one moment at a time, not worrying about the future. After all, the idea of ever being financially secure is essentially crazy since all of money is tied to others, and what happens to the world will happen to us in turn. We are only really riding the waves, and so we should never put hope and trust in them.

   To try to hope and desire an "easier" life is really only to invite suffering. There is simply no easy life, so the best way is to have an attitude that I will die working or die trying to look for meaningful work.