Our Unique Gifts

 In his wonderful book, Transformative Learning, Edmund O'Sullivan (1999) remarks, "to become oneself as a person or community is to become distinct, unique in different ways from all that exists in the present and all that has existed in the past or that will exist in the future. This means that what a person brings to any relationship can be given by no one else in the universe" (p.223). For a long time, I have reflected on both the challenge and the opportunity of this statement, particularly in my ideas of the notion of gifts in education. 

If we are "gifts" that have unique properties, why do we often feel like "damaged goods" in the educational system? Are these gifts truly perfect as they are, or do they need to become as such through a steady process of refinement? Why do we sometimes feel rudderless and alienated, trying desperately to fit into a universe where we may feel like a square peg in a round hole? I believe that the process of expressing our unique gifts involves a constant checking in with what really constitutes our gifts to the world--which means we somehow have to merge with our communities in some form or another. After all, gifts are two-way streets: to have a gift, one has to have a receiver who can accept the gift and mirror it back to the giver. The struggle of identity thus becomes a struggle toward community and communion.

I think that the gift phenomenology is one which requires a certain faith and hope in one's purpose in life. It's this sense of purpose that can buffer us against the inevitable frictions and tensions of life. After all, what makes us unique is also what sometimes creates conflict with the spaces where we don't feel we belong. Uniqueness and belonging, indeed, need to exist in a dialectical tension. Too much belonging can make us become self-sacrificing of our unique gifts and talents, or what makes us uniquely 'ourselves', whereas too much uniqueness can make us fail to communicate our gifts to others, which can also be painful.

O’Sullivan, E. (1999).  Transformative Learning: Educational Vision for the 21^st Century. New York: Zed Books.