Merger Anxieties

I find that anxiety is most provoked when we want to bring two ideas together. We want to make one better and enhance it. There is a curiosity that arises. How should I say it? It is the weird sense that something that was originally "you" (a part of you) and is actually still "you" has been split from you, and is separate.
   I remember seeing once a cat who was so fascinated upon seeing another cat across the street in another window--yet, what was behind that fascination? You might call it instinct, but I think it's the eerie sense of meeting one's true being through something foreign and alien: something which, by necessity, needs to stand "out there" to prevent from being sucked into the vortex of a boring, yawning self.
  Anxiety and desire: the sense of being close to something that is essentially one's own being, yet not being able to touch it. It's not really out there at all, but it's not "in here" among my conditioned parts and habits, so what could it be?
  Perhaps we insist on keeping things strange (exotifying them?) to prevent them from getting lost in the void of the self.