Faith in Practice

  Faith is an important aspect of any spiritual practice. I was reading Master Shen Yen's small book Chan Practice and Faith (in https://chancenter.org/en/publication/free-books) before the meditation tonight, where it talks about how entrusting that there are beings wiser than ourselves (and even enlisting their help at times) is an important aspect of the practice. Without it, we might either become very despondent and forget practice altogether, or very arrogant--thinking that we have already attained everything and don't have anyone "higher" to look up to. The point, however, of having others to have faith in is that it does indeed tap into elements of the mind that are closer to one's own inherent wisdom. They may appear to be expressed in someone else, but they could be seen as expressions of the mind that is within.
   The problem is that if I say "I don't need anyone, I have already what I need inside me", I am already limiting who I am to something I perceive as being "inside" me, as opposed to "outside me". In this way, we disown our own being by contracting inward into a tiny corner of being that is defended. This is not a real nature of mind but it is some kind of very impoverished sense of the self as enclosed in a body (with its own aches and pains). Going back to my previous entry, we start to behave as though we are an isolated body "tossed about" by the waves around us.
   Faith is more expansive and it also leaves room to learn more. Literally, when I allow myself to "look up" to a more advanced stage of wisdom, I am giving myself room to imagine something more than who I might think I am at the moment. This faith is not about reaching the highest summit, as though climbing a mountain. It is more about being able to have a vision of wisdom that is both within one's reach (literally one's own nature) and beyond one's reach (our nature is clouded by ignorance and conditioning). This paradox of both being and not being, both near and far, is the paradox of faith itself.
   Faith also means investing in (as in a kind of cathexis) the value of an experience, or method, without having an expectation of the result. I find that this practice of faith needs to be honored in some way before doing meditation. Otherwise, the meditation practice will not feel authentic, and one lacks trust in the method.