Speaking To Others

 After the group meditation tonight, we talked about a very interesting topic, namely "wisdom" from a Chan perspective. According to Master Sheng Yen, true wisdom is objective, meaning that it lacks a self reference. When I speak to someone, rather than saying "if I were you, I would..." my wisdom mind first seeks to know what the other person is truly experiencing. Only in this way can wisdom truly manifest and the illusory self center will start to dissolve.
  I am not sure how to relate to this, since there are a lot of related principles, but one take home is that I should speak to others not with the mind to "impress" or "please" but with a mind centered on the topic itself as well as the group as a whole. In the workplace, for instance, people might approach meetings with either the idea to compete for individual recognition, or with the idea of benefiting the group as a whole. When my mind is really in the present moment and I am only focused on the topic or objective at hand, then even being silent is okay. It's really one's attention to the issues at hand that gives rise to the appropriate actions and responses, even if the appropriate response is "none whatsoever". In that kind of circle, it's not necessary for me to fret about whether I am looking "good" or not, or whether "my" idea is accepted (alas--as many of one's ideas are borrowed anyway). But the point is that the ideas might potentially contribute to the whole in some way. And even if they don't quite fit, that's okay too: it's over time and through a few trial and errors that one can learn what combinations work most effectively for this team.
    Another take home is that--well, to be honest with you, I get this more from Kafka than from the workplace or Chan Buddhism--we should expect failure and non-finality. There is never a moment when we ever "finish", and I think that this infinite aspect is where compassion comes into play. If I am someone who has absolute certainty as to what I think I and others need, then there might be some wisdom there, but it lacks compassion. Compassion needs infinitude, because it is looking at the infinity of sentient existence. Even when I look deeply into myself or "study" myself, do I ever reach the end point where I can know what I need? To the contrary, it's through working with others that one can get some idea of what those needs are, but even then the knowing of another person and the self is inexhaustible. But it's precisely here that we can truly cultivate a compassion that does not despair. When I know that there is nothing to finish and yet there is everything available to do or not do, then what I do becomes an improvisation on selves interacting. What started as a "science" starts to look more and more like an art. I guess this is how I am understanding the process of speaking to others.