Exploring Afflictions

Whenever I experience some vexation or troubling emotions, I consider: well, this is another possibility to explore and to wonder "why". I think that this orientation in itself is part of what makes vexation so interesting and intriguing. When vexation is turned into an interesting process of contemplation or even (dare I say) study, then one's attitude toward vexation itself changes. It's not even said to be "vexation" anymore; instead, it's one of many energies from mind, just like the waves in an ocean.
   Part of the problem is that vexations and afflictions in the mind often invite shame. This is interesting, because I sometimes wonder why people might feel the sense of shame when it comes to experiencing disturbing states of mind. It is almost as though one were to feel they were losing face if any emotion comes to their mind that does not match up with one's self-image. Experiencing vexations might also bring a person to a train of thought where they don't allow themselves to feel disturbed, either for fear that it will get out of control or because they believe they should know better than to have such feelings. It's only when a person is open to exploring emotions in a relaxed way that they will not block themselves from processing the emotions.
 To give a simple example, if I just missed the bus and I feel some kind of irritation, I might then add to the irritation by telling myself "you should not feel that way", or even imagining what I would look like in that moment. But there is another way, and that is to simply behold the irritation and to observe how it rushes through the body, generating all sorts of internal reactions. Treating the sensation as a curiosity, I can then start to better appreciate its living energy, rather than trying to hem it in with rules or expectations. When I only observe this emotion, I also have the chance to let go of any narratives I have about myself in the relationship to that emotion. (Who I am, what I look like to others, and so on). Knowing that emotions do not have automatic judgments attached to them can help me better understand and deal with them as they arise.