Today, I had the unfortunate experience of taking a bus route through an area affected by construction. By the time I arrived at Bayview and York Mills, I had decided that I did not want to be in the crowded bus. I hopped off and found my way northbound to Steeles. In retrospect, I now realize that this strategy did not do much good in getting me home sooner. However, I can appreciate the fact that I took a different way home from what I am used to.
"New routes home" can symbolize very painful detours that arise from new decisions. Whenever I make a major decision that goes against my habitual ways, I always wonder whether I truly made the right decision, and my mind fills with anguish in those cases. But soon enough, a kind of accommodation sets in. In spite of my regrets or second thoughts, the mind manages to find some reason for why the decision was a "right" one after all, even if that right reason is simply to learn first hand what a "mistake" is. I think that what also happens for most people is that they find "new" reasons for doing things which have nothing to do with the initial motivation. That is, the chain of reasons continues even after one has made the decision.
At the end of the day, even the terms of "right" and "wrong" are only relative to some reference point that is usually the self. Can we dare ourselves to "get lost" sometimes in order to find new bearings?
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