"Under" Weather

 This weekend's hot weather has gradually dissipated into something more manageable. I find myself more resolved to continue my course work and resume the six weeks' worth of tasks. I shift away from irresolution to the final "let's get things going". No matter what, the first steps lead me to the next, until there comes a point where I don't even consider turning back.
   Two themes have emerged from this recognition: the first is that I am not isolated from my physical world by any means. I am creaturely: subject to every creature's share of heat, cold, lethargy, boredom, despair, hunger, thirst and fatigue. There are so many factors, in fact, that contribute to one's moods that one can no longer ask the question, "what's wrong with me?" Instead, it shifts to, "what exactly makes this situation challenging for me?" Is it possible to list all the factors that make this particularly challenging? This requires a certain modicum of honesty: not trying to pretend that I am "above" creaturely needs like drink, rest, cold air and a place for private reflection, but factoring these into my current state of mind. Instead of idealizing myself to be somehow independent of these factors, what would it be like to include even the most mundane conditions in an assessment of how I am doing?
   The second theme is, as I wrote about in my previous entry, the need to see motivation as part and concurrent with the journey itself. Staying in the place of "why" can sometimes be constructive to clarify certain things, but if it gets so broad as to ask "why am I even in this place, doing this thing, existing, etc" then chances are that the question will never be resolved. I may even need to step back and consider that some of these things are undeniably existential; they are part and parcel with the journey of uncertainty.