Stories/Non-Stories

 During the group meditation session tonight, I couldn't help but stick to one of the expressions that the facilitator for our second half shared: "we complicate the present moment with our thinking". And I believe that it really does take a lot of conscious effort to reflect on the content of our thoughts and judgments, especially when they are tending toward negative appraisals of self and others. One of the things that I think often tends to happen for me is making meaning where there is very little evidence of meaning at all.
   I recall watching a funny spoof commercial for some movie or television show, where the man is romantically going on and on about one of his students, while the student just sits there and says, "okay" and "yeah". I think this is an interesting example of two extremes. In the first extreme, we have someone who is rhapsodizing over someone, but that other person has very little interest in the subject that is being taught, let alone the teacher. He seems to be over-indulging in a kind of fantasizing of meaning-making, whereas the student is going just the opposite: he is just sort of answering the world with one-word sentences, indicating a totally disengaged attitude. When I think about this sketch, I realize that it represents two sides in a spectrum, where most people seem to occupy something in between. On one side of the spectrum is an attachment to creating meaning in the form of stories, because we truly want certain things to be true, and subconsciously end of slanting the evidence in our favor to suit the narrative we want to have. On the other side of the spectrum is the refusal to make stories, as embodied in the teenager who rejects stories and tries to live completely in the present moment, in a 'cool' world.
   Which of these two scenarios is the most human? To be honest, I think that the teenager's nonchalance is the safest choice, because there is no risk of hurt feelings resulting from a failure to consolidate one's meaning with that of others. In other words, to be "cool" when it comes to meaning is to avoid the entanglement that results when we cross wires or misunderstand ourselves or each other. The other way is not so safe, but there is at least a chance that making meaning can connect oneself to others. As long as I am not getting overly enmeshed in stories to the point where they seem absolutely and always true, I can use the narratives and theories of my mind to connect with others in creative or new ways. But the trick to story-making is to know that at the end of the day they only represent possibilities, and therefore there is no use getting stuck in the story as though it were absolutely real. This middle ground incorporates the hesitation of adolescent 'coolness' with the capacity to create narratives (among other things) which marks the induction into adult life.