A Choice of Stories

 During the group meditation practice tonight, we watched a video which dealt with the theme of the Buddhist theory of karma at death. I had posed the question to the group: does the ability to hear Dharma teachings during this bardo (intermediate) state depend on one's previous merits? Part of my question was coming from a place of wondering who the 'dharma friend' is: is it really someone who exists separately from our own awareness, or is it a part of our awareness? And is it based on merit, or is it based on compassion that these benevolent beings come to us in the death stage?
   Regardless of what the case might be, I almost tend to feel that when it comes to death, one has a choice of narratives or 'stories' about the course of death. Depending on which tradition one is in, there are a whole range of spiritual practices which allow a person to 'practice' for one's death. In fact, one's whole life might just consist precisely in these miniature preparations. But it's important not to think only in terms of karma. Although karma plays a part in this journey, it's how one sees karma that has an even bigger role. If I lament my karma and think that it is a sign of being punished, I make my life into a misery just through this attitude. But if I think that every loss and setback in life is only a way to train the heart to be a little bit more open, more forgiving, more spacious and imaginative, then karma can be a kind of joy to face, almost like a challenge.