"Delicious" Moments

  After the group meditation tonight, the main facilitator had asked the group, 'what is your most delicious moment?' He was asking the question in the context of a sharing that quite often, people are asked to introduce themselves by way of a) what they do (usually for a living, alas) and, b) what they like to eat. Imagine what it would be like to ask the same question only looking at it in terms of moments. This kind of question gave everyone the opportunity to share in the context of what it means to meditate.
   I am not too sure what the most delicious moment is for me, but I did mention those moments in the course of my guided instruction when I am able to let go of the inner judge who is always looking from a supposedly 'objective' distance. Of course, this inner judge represents the effort to control experiences to my liking, or at least to give myself some feeling of invulnerability and authority. When I start to dislike who I am and what instructions I am providing during the group meditation, I then start to withdraw from everyone as though they were judging me. In fact, it's only myself in that moment who is providing the judgments and commentary. Even if someone else were doing so, I would be the one to decide whether such comments are valid or not.
   What it comes down to for me is to know that I always can choose to allow an experience to arise as it is rather than letting it go according to a supposed master script. Sometimes this might feel awkward because it allows people to provide a space for others to know them, which also creates vulnerability. If I am 'directing' the movie of my life, I can edit or modify everything according to my personal liking, but then this is no longer a valid relation to life. Taken to an extreme, this excessive planning mentality of trying to direct or control one's life eventually becomes a kind of farce. It's not only that most events are not that easily controllable, but that even the efforts to do so results in a kind of mechanical way of thinking.