Appreciation, Not "Emulation"

   The line between appreciation and emulation is a thin one. I know that for myself, I have always had an admiration for people who work very quickly and efficiently to achieve their goals, and it has made me feel that I should somehow do the same or even imitate that person. It is as though the sight of another's success and abilities makes my own existence pale in comparison. I have often found that when I am in libraries, I will see others working very quickly in getting their reports or other assignments completed, and then feel that I should be working at the same pace or rate as themselves. But is it possible to appreciate the efforts of others without feeling the compulsion to emulate others? The line between appreciation and 'trying to be' or keep up with someone needs to be clearly established.
   From the perspective of holistic education, the 'whole child' is a being with unique abilities and very individual growth periods. Quite simply, no two students are alike in the way they do things, the rate at which they progress, and how they think through and perform their assignments and undertakings. I remember talking to a former student of mine who reflected that her two children have had different rates of learning new skills and language. While the older son tends to take his time when doing things, the younger daughter tends to do things relatively quickly, such as mastering the language. When the older boy saw that his younger sister was doing things more quickly than himself, his own pace became more agitated, as though he were pressured to keep up with what is quite naturally her style. Perhaps due to the fact that the boy may have forgotten what is special or beneficial about his own style or way of being, he started to frantically try to keep up with his sister's pace, and became somewhat alienated as a result.
   We tend to live in a society where these kinds of differences are measured and evaluated, which leads to the idea that all children should be evaluated in much the same ways, standards or forms. But in reality, if you ever watch group projects or discussions in a classroom, you might start to notice that the different styles of children are actually a benefit to the learning dynamic. If all the children tried to imitate each other and followed only one particular standard or way of being, a whole lot of other aspects of those children would be neglected or even disused. To site a very commonplace example, more introverted children might not be very quick to respond to discussions involving immediate evaluation or brainstorming. However, when they later sit down and reflect on the discussion, they might come to many conclusions of their own which have an equal validity to their more extroverted peers.
   This discussion is not meant to pose an either-or dichotomy between 'doing your own thing' and 'emulating your peers'. It seems that one's experiences are much more nuanced than this. It is quite true that people who possess different talents or skills than us can inspire us and even arouse our determination to bring out our best efforts. This is the value of having diverse learning styles working together; it's a bit like what happens when we see muscles that could be better used in our own body and we try to work new muscle groups instead of using our habitual responses to do things. However, there is a balance here, in the sense that change doesn't happen at the same pace that one would desire. In the meantime, one can simply experience the excellence of others as a form of appreciation rather than as an immediate pressure to absorb abilities around oneself that she or he does not possess at the moment.