"I Love It When It Doesn't Work"

 Today, I spent half the day editing and working on a final assessment for my course (which ends soon), and the other half was in the struggle to understand Surangama Sutra's 57 stages of the Buddha path. I wasn't very successful in the second part of my day! And yet, one of the other participants in the group had remarked that the English version of this text is much easier to read than the Chinese version, at which point I wondered why I was finding the text so difficult to read today.
   I think it's important to use one's moments of frustration and 'impossibility' to imagine 'loving the impossible'. It's not all that easy to do, I have to admit, but it's this kind of paradox which really gets me going, and it can best happen in the space of meditation. How is it possible to love the impossible? I believe that one can do so only when one knows that 'possible' and 'impossible' are concepts created by mind, and thus our relationship to them can have many permutations. Just knowing that 'impossible' is only a label one gives to some experience can allow one to see more in it than one's usual labels or distinctions. If I study what it really feels like to enjoy something, and all the mental attitudes that go with it, what stops me from applying these very same attitudes and experiences to something I don't necessarily enjoy or agree with?
   The same thing goes with things that don't work. What makes me think they even should work, and according to whose standards should they work? Is it possible to love the broken machines of our lives, simply for being broken? This kind of love requires a letting go, but if I understand the Christian love correctly, it is exactly the love of the broken that is quite liberating and freeing.