Your Job Is to Relax

  This morning, we had a wonderful Buddha Bathing Ceremony. Though the day was extremely hot, many people managed to fit into the room to hear the ceremony and partake in festivities afterward. I had arrived at the center early  to see what I could do to help, only to find that much of it had already been organized. It turned out that I had a lot of free time on my hand to 'make myself useful'. I sauntered outside to find what I needed to do.
    In situations like these, where I offer to help but am not required to do so, I can do any number  of things. One is to simply go home! Another is to grumble inwardly about how 'useless' I feel. There is a third option which came to mind this morning and it is to say: my job is to relax. That is, if there is one role I can do in this moment, I can relax into being present with whatever is happening. And I found that when I took this approach, I got right back into my own skin rather than seeing how I might be to others in that situation. I started to do mindful walking around the center, and started to let go of this image of always having to do something in order  to appear 'useful' or at least measure up to the invisible standards of myself or others.
     Does it make sense to see relaxation as a 'job'? I would have to say so, because relaxing the mind is not something that is natural to myself. But in a sense, when I am fully relaxed, it's possible to see that it benefits others as well. For instance, think about the difference that a relaxed demeanor makes in the eyes of others. It can help others to feel more at ease, but more importantly, it can change the  way I see others. In that sense, relaxation is vital to creating the kind of experience that people would want to have in that situation. People don't just want efficiency, but they also tend to want to feel at ease and taken care of. When  I am able to take care of my mind by relaxing into meditative practice, I am in effect also taking care of others in the process.
    But this kind of relaxation is not just like showing up at the door and having any number of wandering thoughts. There is a kind of 'effort' to relax, which is why I refer to it as a kind of 'job'. Just as any process requires certain steps, I believe that relaxation requires a process of becoming aware and present to all the things happening without chasing after individual thoughts. So, relaxing is also an effort, and when I am able to accord significance to that effort, I needn't feel useless anymore. Even when there is no job assigned to me, I can always undertake the 'job' of relaxing.   And that task is something that can ease the pressure to try to fulfill hidden agendas of the ego.
     One of the easiest ways I found this morning to really relax is to go back to the analogy of the City of Gold I had talked about in a previous entry. If we can at least intellectually reflect on all things as having perfected nature, there  is no need to add anything new to the perfection of the moment. If I have something to do for others, that is great; but if not, that is also great. In both cases, the important thing is to know the true mind rather than attaching to the notion of 'achieving/not achieving' through actions. The other technique I found helpful is to remind myself that the mind does not move from A to B, but is present in all moments. That being the case, it would be incorrect to think that the mind goes from stillness to action, action to stillness. In the same way, I stop thinking the mind inhabits a moving body which is subject to conditions. In this situation, does my nature depend on what I do? No, because mind doesn't arise as a result of doing and non-doing. Knowing this allows me to face situations of both doing and non-doing with equanimity.