"The Fuss in My Mind"

  Before the meditation today, I felt a lingering uneasiness about the day's events, especially the stress of work  life and the daily criticism that one receives. I even came to a point where I wondered whether the meditation would serve to calm those negative thoughts in any way. Over time, I stayed close to my method, and things naturally settled. And at the end of the session, I came to wonder what the fuss was in my mind.
   I am not sure how many psychologists currently do meditation. I have heard that many who are studying psychology end up in a place of exploring contemplative practices. What I suggest is that psychologists could study the phenomena of what happens between ''making a big fuss" and "not making a fuss". Of course,  Buddhist psychologies refer to this experience as letting go of attachment. But I would be interested in understanding what is the 'in between process'. What are the individual components of that letting go, and what are the 'in between moments' between being stuck on certain thoughts and then being able to disperse one's attitude toward those thoughts.
    I think part of what happens in daily life is that I will think I am inside a thought. It is a little bit like watching a movie and seeing one's own image on the screen, then thinking that the image is really me. If you think in this way, think of all the adrenaline and chemicals that are happening in your body when you worry about that image in front of you. I am sure you have had moments in which you are watching a movie, and you were rooting for one of the main characters (or perhaps the main villain, or the main 'victim') to survive some harrowing event. In those moments, I myself would become so invested in the outcome of the characters I most identify with that I would feel for their plight and worry if they were going to make it or not. But when I finally release  from thinking that I am that thought or this aggregate of thoughts, then this already creates a sense of relief. At last, I am not believing that the image I cherish about myself is truly me.
   Another scenario that happens in daily life is that people are sometimes presented with a picture of who they are with a few words or through language. How many people have been given names such as "stupid" in their life? I think words can be powerful because they can convince people that they are things that they are not. A person can think she or he is a genius just by being called as such, and then be later told they are 'not so smart' and then believe that. What is the power of these beliefs? It is really that I take the thought to be the true me, and then behave as though I were conscripted to protecting that imaginary self from danger. To be called "stupid" is particularly vulnerable, because it evokes a fear of social ostracism. Nobody wants to hire "stupid" or befriend "stupid", so it can be quite fear-provoking (if not humiliating) to be told this in some form or another.
    When I finally rest from identifying myself with all these racing thoughts, I am no longer enchained to them, and I have a much wider surface to work with. I am no longer under this spell of thinking that certain thoughts belong to 'me' while other thoughts belong to other people. And this again allows for a more spacious and relaxed mindset. Then I am free to wonder why I was so invested in all the particular thoughts.