Sense of Accomplishment in Spiritual Practice

  We had a very beautiful ceremony today in the Chan center to commemorate the passing of Master Sheng Yen. The day was cold, but people inside the center kept warm.
     I was touched by Master Sheng Yen's Dharma talk, "Laughing and Weeping in a Dream."  This was Shifu's first retreat talk in New York, and he shares how the retreat is similar to a dream: people coming and people going, not permanently fixed to the place, and free to travel in the way they wish. And each person takes something different from that retreat experience. In a way, all of our encounters are like this, as we see each other and ourselves through fleeting and impermanent thoughts and impressions. Not only this, but even our evaluations are bound to change through subtle nuances of our experiences. While some might feel that they have accomplished something in their practice, others might not feel as such and lack a sense of grounding. Master Sheng Yen cautions those who feel they have accomplished a lot, by suggesting that perhaps this is only an idea they cherish, or a false view about themselves. On the other hand, those who feel they have accomplished very little are on the path without even realizing it.
     As I listened to this part and tried to understand Shifu's works. I wondered: does this mean that one's pride or sense of self gets in the way of accomplishing anything in the Buddha path? Or is there a deeper meaning that makes it impossible to even speak of 'accomplishment' in practice? Why would those who don't think they are doing well turn out to be faring 'well' compared to those who believe they accomplished something?
     I believe that there is accomplishment in practice, but it is always a step away.  Even the notion of 'accomplishment' is likely just a skilful means to maintain practice, for certain kinds of people. It is a way of reminding a person: there is something you didn't quite get, and it's not  graspable by intellectual thinking.. "Accomplishment" or "sense of accomplishment" may not be a real measure of a person's success or even a real, permanent thing. For example, I remember how one of the student's I tutored had a mother was concerned with the Western education system compared to that in China. According to the mom, if a person is told they are doing excellently, that statement will cause the person to become too relaxed, or to loosen their hold on studies. The mom suggested that the education system  be more sparing with compliments, and more critical of how the students are doing as a way to motivate them to always improve. For example, if a person is told they are 40%, would this not motivate and inspire them to do better in the future? The method is questionable, and I would have to say that a student would need to see the 40% as just an arbitrary measure and not a measure of themselves. But the point is that this kind of grading might seem to be a way to inspire people  to do their best.
    In Chan (and with meditation in general) it seems a little different, because the practice is not about accomplishing states of being or even something called "inner peace". I think it's more about letting go of the "I" that's said to accomplish anything.  As long as I don't attach a "me" to what I do (or don't do, or do poorly), there isn't all this struggle or effort to save face. It is just going back to make the conditions better to perhaps attain better results, if the conditions are ripe for that to happen. But even 'better' or 'worse' is not related to a self. It is just about changing conditions so that people can function better in community with others. Furthermore, it's with a grain of salt that I can even speak of 'better' or 'worse' actions, since they are relative to shifting perspectives. So while it's okay to work for others benefit, it's also okay to take it with a grain of salt and know that the conditions are bound to change.