I decided to finish two out of my three lesson plans tonight, before the weekend started. This planning certainly helped me to feel less overwhelmed and more of a sense of release--the sense that I can indeed take a break over the weekend, aside from my regular teaching. I start to reflect: it's only when a person is occupied that they truly appreciate times when they are not occupied. Maintaining that balance between "occupied" and "free" is like the two parts of breath: inhaling and exhaling. These rhythms are homeostatic, and they are somehow mutually indispensable.
I feel gratitude when I am tired in this way--it's not a tiredness that comes from weariness, but one that comes from being rightly occupied, or occupied in the (hopefully productive) service of others. And although I struggle with always having energy to do so, I remind myself of times when I wasn't so engaged, and it seems that I do prefer this life. Belonging is a human need, and I can only hope that those who suffer loss of employment during the pandemic can feel belonging of some kind, as well as engagement. I do feel that it is a necessity. But, I also remind myself that there is room for much needed rest.
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