Illness and Equanimity

Watching Master Sheng Yen's talk on illness on YouTube, I feel a certain kind of detached comfort, to know that there is a way to face illness without necessarily feeling resentful. Sheng Yen suggests that of the two kinds of physical illnesses, one is about being bedridden, while the other is about the kind of unease that people experience from day to day, such as the illness of hunger. Sheng Yen reminds me that my body is hardly ever in a state of stability most of the time, and physical illness is only one of the ways in which one can learn not to rely too heavily on bodily comfort.
   An example of this is what happened at my workplace tonight, when I volunteered to do overtime in order to handle a quarterly financial verification. I felt fine in the very beginning of waiting for the statements to be printed, but soon after 6 pm, I started to feel a bit hungry and even faint. Part of this is due to the fact that I had worked a long day already, but I am sure that it also has to do with the body's habit of eating at the same time every day, and then having its routines and order disrupted. While I definitely felt extreme confidence at the beginning of my shift, I very quickly started to realize that I too am a creature of the world, and I can never be the master of my experiences, no matter how determined I am. This is quite simply because I am prey to every kind of vulnerability when there is hunger, including lack of concentration. There is nothing wrong with this but it's to know that I have to take care that I am doing things within my capacities, and preparing myself for longer shifts to deal with the body's needs. But it's also to accept that I have limits which I need to follow if I am to be healthy. Only I can know what those limits are, but the signs of going beyond those limits might include a sense of unease and anxiety that has no ground. In those times, I might be warning myself that it's time for a rest or to go for a walk.
    Master Sheng Yen does offer excellent suggestions for how to face illness, but as always, it treads a middle path between acceptance and courage. "Acceptance" is about knowing that the body is only temporary, and hoping for absolute comfort all of the time is really a kind of attachment. When a person can adjust their attitude, the illness is not so onerous, and it can be handled more deftly. The second part, courage, seems to be more about being able to really know what one is suffering and not deny it or try to hide from it.

Sheng Yen, Illness  (GDD-31, Master Sheng Yen (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t8cQH1EWas)