"Rules of Engagement"

 Prior to teaching the Grade 2 students today, I felt apprehensive about delivering a Power Point which had worked effectively in a previous class, yet didn't feel appropriate for the reading level of the current students. I was so apprehensive about this, in fact, that I even came into the classroom with a certain eagerness to engage, coupled with a curiosity to know exactly what would engage the students in a way that felt educational. In fact, I found that having this eagerness to engage (coupled with uncertainty about how to do it), made the class feel more engaged to me! The students weren't acting out as often as they would, and I also found that they seemed to respond well to my eagerness to engage their attention.
   Much of what I observe in these dynamics ends up reinforcing my belief that engagement is not something that can ever be planned. Often, having a powerpoint presentation which one feels is "effective" can be an impediment to real, genuine engagement, because it can give the instructor or presenter a rather false or substitute sense of confidence. Moreover, this false confidence doesn't come from the reality that students are often difficult to engage unless they truly know and feel cared for. To be engaged with students requires a certain apprehensiveness:  I am not sure what works, but I am willing to try a bunch of things to experiment on what could work. I have found that this slightly apprehensive approach worked best in terms of connecting with the students. Without apprehension, I no longer reach the students, because they must feel that their role has been diminished in some ways to that of a spectator to a teacher's presentation and "bullet points". I am furthermore not willing to see myself as in a position to learn from my students; rather, I wall myself into a steely role of "teacher".
   I wonder to what extent the principal of engagement that I am observing with these young students can apply more generally to working relationships with adults. Engagement truly requires a sense of mystery. After all, if I am confident in what I know, I am like the person who has sealed myself off into a wall of confidence, rather than someone who is letting in the unknown and is vulnerable to moments of uncertainty. In working life, having too much certainty (especially in an exploration stage) is terrible to system design and testing, because it fails to see the new potentials and pitfalls in the unfamiliar. In the same way, students can feel the extent to which a teacher is willing to truly extend themselves into a classroom rather than standing on the sidelines.