What to "Learn" from Karma

 Yesterday, after the retreat, we had repentance prostration practice. I was thinking a lot afterward about the meaning of repentance and karma, and how the two connect.
   I find that I am the kind of person who feels repentant about things that may or may not have happened, but for which I have little substantial evidence. I facilitate guided meditation sessions, and I notice that people might attend once or twice, but then stop attending these sessions. They might come to other events, but I see that they are not at the regular meditation. In those moments, I wonder what I am doing wrong, or what I can do better to serve that person's needs. I feel that there is something for which to repent, but I can never be sure what, because there are often a number of reasons why there may be no affinity with that person, and little opportunity to engage the people who aren't coming. I am also aware that from the Buddhist perspective, there may be an endless number of reasons for why people lack affinity for each other. All we can do is 'try our best' and be open to new ways of connecting with diverse kinds of people. But even this openness is no guarantee that I will be able to connect with specific people.
  There are two ways (at least) of looking at this, in my opinion. One is what I have just mentioned above: the karma we 'receive' in our life is an opportunity to look deeply into ourselves and repent of unskilful behavior and actions--that is, to always ask ourselves what we can improve, and to know that there is always something we can improve. But there is another way of looking at this, and that is not to attach to karmic outcomes. If there is someone in the Chan group who simply does not attend the sessions, I also need to ask myself: why am I so attached to this fact, and what can I do with the sense of attachment that I have? Not only does the person's absence teach me what I can improve, but it also teaches me where I need to let go.
   While a repentant attitude is certainly important, it becomes difficult and challenging when we are dealing with our attachments. If I live my life wanting to be admired or liked by so-and-so, or wondering why another doesn't talk to me, this makes it very difficult to repent because it is complicated by self-attachment. It is as though I am 'repenting' but with the primary motivation of wanting to be liked or admired, rather than repenting because there is something that can be done better to help others. I would say that the 'desire' might be sincere, but the motivation in these cases is not pure, because there is a sense of wanting the feeling of admiration or 'stroking'. I am aware that one needs to let go of this in the end, and go to a deeper view of life and practice.