Off Kilter

     I have had a plugged ear throughout this week, due to sleeping on it the wrong way, resulting in a very weird effect of feeling pressure on one side of the face, and not the other. In times like this, I am so appreciative of the way the body balances--and how one minute or tiny imbalance can set everything off kilter. In a sense, it reminds me of the original meaning of the term 'dukkha' which in Buddhism refers to a loose wheel that is a little bit off kilter. Even a little bit off can mean a whole lot of suffering. What's to be done when this imbalance starts to take hold of someone?
   The great thing about the practice of gratitude is that yes, one can marvel at the way things are made to balance each other. But there is a tragic sense in this--things rarely do balance perfectly, and because of the longing for balance, a person suffers a great deal. One can extend this metaphor to the intense practice of trying to learn who one is and what is true about life. In the beginning, there is a feeling that something is off balance, and the yearning to get it right again. Later, one starts to realize that this yearning itself is an impossible desire, and one had better let go of even this aspiration. But what isn't lost is the hunger that balance makes visible--perhaps a hunger for unity in difference , equanimity in conflict, etc.