What's the Question?

   I always remember this famous story in Buddhism about the prince who tries to build very elaborate structures for the sake of Bodhidharma, only to be told that they are of no value. Of course, the Prince gets enraged, and begins to wonder what could possibly be 'good enough' to bring merit. What he doesn't realize in that point and time is that the practice is never about achieving any secure sense of good in the first place. It is rather an insight into a non-self, perhaps even a great dying to the self.
    Before going to my first class in Buddhist studies today at U of T, I was quite nervous and anxious, thinking that I would be completely lost on the first day. Now I am never too sure why I have such anxieties, or where they come from. Perhaps it has something to do with feeling disconnected for different reasons. But what touched me was the sharing of the group and how everyone has something very unique and different to say. And I started to realize in the midst of that sharing that there is something much more beautiful than a society which focuses on fixed achievements. There is  certain beauty in the fact that everyone's path intermingles with others and the combinations enrich each other. There is a kind of beauty in interconnection which simply cannot be captured using the paradigm of 'building up'. This is simply because what is 'building up' for one person cannot possibly apply to everyone's situation.
    I was also quite intrigued by the questions that people asked, which I had never thought of before at all. One of my classmates had wondered out loud, "Was the Buddha really this big smiling guy that can be found in the statues"? In other words, he wanted to know whether the statue of the Buddha is a facsimile of an actual person of the Buddha. It lead to a discussion on a paper that was delivered at a conference called 'How Tall is the Buddha?' I started to realize that I never mustered the courage or curiosity to ask such intriguing questions. Now that I am in this class, maybe I have the space to ask questions that are not about making an impression or trying to hide one's "lack of spiritual attainment." In other words, I can start to ask questions that are playful and fun rather than questions which have a predetermined answer.