Measuring Up

               How do I measure up? This is the kind of question that both students and adult learners often reflect upon from time to time. I was reading a book in the library by Helmut Schock, called Envy. This very lengthy study describes how the need to ‘measure up’ against others is a very human, almost universal feeling, and yet nobody wants to admit to being envious. Envy and jealousy seem to indicate a kind of weakness, and I have found that the feeling almost throws me back onto myself. It is never easy to feel envy, yet society tends to pepper the matter over by trying to prohibit envy as an acceptable feeling. It seems right to suppress envy because that means that people won’t think too much about social injustices that might keep some people from achieving status that others have.

               

              I agree with Schock in the sense that I don’t think we can quite get away from feelings of envy. Envy is persistent because we are all social beings, and there are obligations we need to fulfill to others. Envy is the general sense that I am forced to contribute in society to others, in spite of the fact that I may feel less disposed to help than others. Envy is the process of comparison that arises from trying to take stock of one’s social and emotional assets in the world. But this is most especially the case when I have identified quite closely with someone else, to the extent of wishing I had what I believe they have.  Although certain politicians, for example, might have expensive things and more status than I do, I simply don’t feel any reason to envy them. Part of that reason must be that I simply don’t see myself as a politician, so there is no reason to envy what they have. I suspect that envy requires some level of identification with the envied person. For example, the person who admires another person’s fancy car might symbolize the car in terms of their own potential wealth. But if we are not identified with any symbolic meaning of the car, it just becomes a piece of metal with paint and wheels, nothing more. Uprooting symbolic aspects of envied objects can go a long way to demystify the source of envy, in many cases.

              

              It seems important to know that envy is not ‘natural’, even though it is persistent and pervasive. I think that envy is quite unnatural because it is based on conceptual ways in which we measure ourselves in the world. I can never be certain, but I doubt that dogs and cats are envious in a classic sense of the word. While a dog or cat might want the food that is in its brother or sister’s bowl, this does not mean that the dog or cat will think: “hey, really wish I was that dog/cat”.

              Knowing that envy is based on social conventions for how we measure up, I might be able to let go of identifying myself with those conventions. This does not mean that I cut off from society or ‘personal measurements’. In fact, those measurements are still going to appear in work or school situations in spite of all one’s protests. But I think the mentality might be something like: the world is built up from measurements. It seems that in spite of their arbitrariness, we need measurements to ensure that forms are respected and there is a system of promotion in place at work that could be verified independently. Having said that, however, it is up to me to reflect that these measures are not truly reflective of my potentials. It is impossible to measure human potential because we do so many things from day to day, and there simply isn’t a number that can capture the miraculous thoughts and actions we are capable of from day to day. At best, organization ‘experts’ might be able to break a task down into discernible units and measure the action based on the speed and number of units produced. But does this reflect all the living potential of a human being? Measures and forms don’t measure the full complexity of thought and the time it takes to form sound judgments and thoughts. In that respect, there is always a limit to conventions and measures, even though it seems that we do need them to some degree to maintain a structured work and academic life.

                

              I think overall it is useful to consider that measures are conventions that lack the permanence that we often consign to the so-called objective and neutral. Doing so might help me identify less with the measure, while still contributing to the social structures to which I belong, as an act of harmonizing and compassion.