Taking Refuge

   When I asked the participants in the Friday meditation sitting what "taking refuge means to them", I was caught with the idea of taking refuge as simply being in the present moment. Being with what--with all the confusion! And being within things that are not clear to us, just trying to make sense of what we have and what we need to learn.

    Taking refuge seems to strike a balance: I want to carry the bale of hay and not drop as many as possible, but when I do drop a few, it doesn't make me drop the whole bale of hay. Life is full of competing claims and desires. As Shifu Sheng Yen has taught, our "wants are many, needs are few". To be able to see the big picture without succumbing to "trying to pick up each dropped piece of hay" is a kind of balancing act. If we lose sight of what matters, we will end up going so deeply into the details that we lose focus and cannot keep direction.

    Taking vows means: I will try to be present in everything I do and take care of my behaviors in relation to others, but I am not going to make myself miserable and despondent if I miss a few things. This is because the precepts have to be balanced with the complex and impermanent nature of life.

     We take shelter in the nature of mind as something boundless and empty in nature. Guidelines are important but not to the point of constraining ourselves too much with regrets. Otherwise, we will make the mistake of believing that we are limited by a few isolated perceptions of who we are, not realizing that we are capable of continuous change and growth.

     When we take refuge, we are not escaping life's responsibilities, but rather facing them with more resilience and something that will guide us on the path. Being mindful of our confusions, we can stay patient in confusion until we have more clarity.