Thoughts vs "Attachment" to Thoughts

 I would like to explore the topic of being with thoughts vs being “attached” to thoughts.  

We might think that, in order to “not be attached” to thoughts, we need to almost look at them askance, as though we were looking at pages from the side rather than reading the pages directly. This creates a kind of aversion toward thought, at least in the sense that we don’t want to be fooled, connived or tricked by our thoughts. In my journeys through meditation practice, I sometimes get afraid of thinking, as though thoughts were deceptive demons that “suck” away one’s attention away from the meditation method. However, this is simply not the case. We can be with our thoughts all the time without attaching to them. It’s even possible to have very angry thoughts; however, when viewed in light of the clarity of meditation, these thoughts lose their edge because we simply don’t identify with them at all.

The best way to illustrate this, I believe, is to think about the process of selecting and reading a book from a library. Some people insist on finishing a book from cover to cover—believing it’s a waste of time to dip into a book without finishing (something that, incidentally, happened to me quite a few times while reading Thomas Mann’s wonderful yet incredibly long Magic Mountain). Other readers casually dip into books to see what interests them, without getting mired in thoughts of completing the book, let alone analysing it and submitting a review to amazon. Some people choose to focus only on a specific preferred genre of books, knowing that this is familiar territory for them and they know the basic overall structure of the book. Others, however, choose to dip into many different genres.

When it comes to thinking, we similarly have thoughts that we “like” and “dislike”, as well as thoughts that are so compelling that we feel the need to “complete” the underlying project or task entailed by the thought itself. When we practice meditation, however, we are not really trying to select any particular thoughts from the flow of thoughts. Rather, we are observing all thoughts with an equal intensity, using either a specific object or a general open contemplation to allow these thoughts to freely flow. In this way, we are like a hand that changes from a tight fist to something that is open and just allows ideas, thoughts and emotions to flow naturally, just like the waves on a river. Even if the content of these thoughts is not so wholesome (anger at a co-worker, stubborn adherence to a closed view, reactivity, defensive posturing, etc.). we don’t at all take any time to judge this content or brand it as “unwholesome”. The “wholesomeness” actually comes from how we relate to these thoughts as thoughts rather than as external realities that we need to tend to or respond to right away. Thoughts, when you think of them (pardon the pun), are not that tangible in the sense of pointing to something that is out there in some form or another. More often than not, thoughts refer to things that never happened (or haven’t happened yet) or speculations based on insufficient evidence. Thoughts are often partial, since they are mental constructs. Thoughts fail to capture the lived experience of successive, unfolding moments, because each thought tends to be a thing unto itself, which later solidifies into a concept or a fixed opinion.

So, the attitude toward are thoughts is never to say “Hey, I shouldn’t be having these particular thoughts”, because they are only thoughts after all. It’s only when we start to dwell on certain thoughts and take ourselves to be having these thoughts (or even owning them), that thought starts to spur on certain planned behaviors. If I hear a loud noise and say “I hate that!” or “Who did that?”, I will easily start to fall for the belief in an “I” (a me) who is having this thought, as opposed to the world “out there”, where the noise originates. This then creates the illusion that the thought originates “out there” when in fact it’s a mental construct cobbled together from prior experiences, assumptions, cognitive “fill ins” etc. We then tie these thoughts to cultural notions of who we should be in relation to those thoughts, and try to surround ourselves with thoughts that most accord with our sense of who we are or should be, as well as what we deem as appropriate or inappropriate. Attachments arise from the habit of discriminating between “good” and “bad” thoughts, coupled with a strong sense of the self that should (or shouldn’t) have these thoughts. If, on the other hand, we stay with the notion that thoughts don’t point to a particular thinker, and have a shelf-life of a brief instant of time before another thought appears, then we lose attachment to thoughts. When this happens, all the muscles around our temples and skull will naturally ease up, and it becomes so much easier to relax and be in the moment. I believe that it is this relaxed attitude toward thoughts which is so crucial to meditative practice, and it’s vitally needed if we are to go forward in practice.

The relationship toward thoughts, I want to stress, is way more important than what we do with the actual thoughts themselves. Many Buddhist practitioners think that meditation is about somehow inducing a peaceful state of mind by flushing out all thoughts, or picking only certain “nice” thoughts to have. But if we are trying to replace some thoughts with “better” thoughts (or no thought at all), we will only become more tired when we sit on the cushion. Stirring up discriminating likes and dislikes only induces more conflict in the mind, which paradoxically can make us less peaceful and relaxed, even when we resolve to be the latter. The reality is, thoughts don’t need to be dealt with at all. Even obsessive, repetitive thoughts (such as addictions) don’t need to be subdued when we meditate. Rather, we treat obsessive thoughts just like any other thought. The less afraid we are of our thoughts, the more easily they flow in and out of mind, to use a metaphor, and this results in a naturally calm state of awareness that comes from not abiding in the thoughts. I believe this is extremely important—that is, don’t be afraid of your thoughts, no matter how scary they may seem! Even if you think someone is out to get you, you need to realize that it’s just another thought, and there is no real thinker behind it. It comes and goes. Does the thinker need to defend himself? No, there’s no independent , separate thinker to begin with!

So very important, don’t worry about the quality or content of your thoughts. What you need to see is that thoughts emerge and disappear on their own (they have their own shelf life, and a very brief expiry date at that). We also need to see that the content of our thoughts does not point to a fixed and unified self. Thoughts do not define who we are because when a thought arises, there is no attendant “thinker” who arises with it. A thought is just a thought. Even the notion of “thinker” becomes yet another thought or object. So if we don’t act on these thoughts, we aren’t creating any story around them. We don’t try to carry forward that thought by arming it or giving it weight and life. In this way, our actions can become more economical: we only need to what needs doing in the moment, then let that go. Again—there is no “doer” separate from the doing. It’s all just a flow of thoughts. Can you try this? I hope you can try it everyday!