Benefitting Others, Then Self

  During our group meditation practice discussion today, I was reminded that whenever we encounter adversity, we should always embrace it as a sign of care. Criticism or even the day to day hassles of life can be reframed as challenges and ways that those around us help us to grow. Perhaps the best attitude possible is to think that whenever we are being challenged, the result of the challenge will help us to better help others. For instance, if I go through a difficult ordeal, I may not be so successful at overcoming it, but I can take what I have learned from adversity and use it to benefit (or, at the very least, warn) others. In this way, I don't take the situation too personally and I am able to reframe it overall as the opportunity to practice.

  If, after all of this, I still encounter negative emotions and afflictions, I can reframe my attitude toward those emotions. First, are they permanent? No, they are conditioned, and therefore they won't last forever, no matter how dire the circumstances. 

Second, is the emotion "me"? If I take a detached view, I can realize that emotions are usually the result of habitual thinking. By changing my mindset and thoughts to positive ones, the feeling that I am "in danger" or "under threat" will eventually subside, and I can treat the experience in a smooth and easy way. 

Thirdly, does the emotion benefit me? If it only pains me, why should I even nurse the emotion? We often think that anger or irritation benefits us by giving us a form of self-defense, but in fact, these emotions only tend to make situations worse, and never help us solve the issues. In fact, anger can end up estranging us from others. Simply contemplating the destructiveness of the emotion can be one way of counteracting it, by proving to ourselves that no matter how strong the emotion may feel, that feeling does not legitimate or "prove" its value to our survival.