Happiness without Ice Cream

  In his book, Turning the Mind into an Ally,  Sakyong Mipham notes how, for Buddhists:

"Becoming curious about how we suffer doesn't mean that we can no longer enjoy eating ice cream. But once we begin to understand the bewilderment of our untrained mind, we won't look to the ice cream and say, 'That's happiness'. We'll realize that the mind can be happy devoid of ice cream. We'll realize that the mind is content and happy by nature" (p.23).

Now, this is quite the radical view, I believe! I think what it firstly suggests is the pliancy of the mind, and how the mind can take joy in its own essential, inherent emptiness. Conversely, if I am too identified with the taste of ice cream, I see myself as deprived without it. I am not able to see that even the ice cream, when obtained and eaten, also has an expiry time: we cannot enjoy it forever, after all! And perhaps the fact that ice cream melts so quickly makes it truly symbolic of the fragility of worldly pleasures.

I have long wondered what is the relationship between Buddhism and sensory pleasures? At first glance I would say, many interpret Buddha as a being who renounced all pleasures and even warned against them. However, I don't agree. I have the sense that for the Buddha, pleasure is not a problem as long as it is seen for what it is--as temporary--and as long as there isn't a reified sense of I associated with the pleasure. As soon as I desire something, I not only want it, but I subtly imagine what I would be without it, and I give rise to a scarcity mindset of wanting to hoard it. This happened during COVID, when people hoarded toilet paper. On a literal level, families do need it, but did anyone stop to consider the symbolic meaning of it? To me, toilet paper is  the "adult" version of diapers. It symbolizes maternity, security, being swaddled and taken care of. When people couldn't find toilet paper in the stores, they panicked because they could no longer see themselves as able to care for themselves. This is because they had a reified sense of security.

If I am not attached to the symbolic sense of security, then I can love more. I love with wisdom, not with an idea of hoarding, and my love for things is based on the trust that the things around me are always peacefully what they need to be--they are all phenomena unfolding in the mind. Then I can enjoy ice cream, because I am not tagging a sense of self to its enjoyment. I don't grieve when ice cream is not available to me anymore (for health reasons or the like) and instead I can even be happy for those who can enjoy it, while not denying its pleasures.