Daily Softness

   What is a soft attitude toward life, and what does it mean? Is it possible to be "too soft"? Yes, it is possible, I suppose, since we've been brought up to feel that we need to push ourselves hard to in order to achieve and get good results. Too lax an attitude can make us into homeless people who do nothing all day because they didn't push themselves hard enough. Or so they say...

  So where does softness come into it? Is softness something we contrive, or is it something that naturally comes from a changed perspective or attitude?

    Emptiness can be an invitation to softness. If we know that things are based on causes and conditions, we will feel less forceful in our approach to solving a problem or going about understanding something. There are many many reasons why something is what it is and not something else. Before we can even make changes to a situation, we need to contemplate the reasons for the phenomena: why it exists the way it does and not as something else. A butterfly has its own unique causes and conditions, as does the caterpillar, the bird and the bull. Though the caterpillar has a potential to be a butterfly, we can't force it to happen in this way. It needs to unfold through the right factors. A forceful attitude only makes the caterpillar sick and pressured. So the same with everything. 

    Even when we try to adopt this attitude, we may then think: well. I'm being soft and kind, so how come the things around me don't change into the things I want? But this again is an attitude of wanting to control to gain something. Again, the approach is "I plant the seeds, but I don't expect things to grow x way or y way". There are many causes and conditions to consider. Same as when we can't comprehend another person's behavior: we may think, how come they don't behave as I expect? Then we are also imposing an idea on a very complex situation that we may not fully understand. So again, the softness requires that we accept some mystery in how things are unfolding. 

    Gracefully allowing: this is the skill of softness. Get up to have your 4:30 meditation, but is it ok to have a coffee first? Sure! If you need it.