Waves and Iterations

 If we knew we were only waves, and merely versions of one great big ocean, how would that change the way we are? I keep hearkening back to Olaf Stapleton's early science fiction novel First and Last Men, where he talks about legions of galaxies and histories of different alien races, all experimenting with different modes of society. Iterations. Versions. "Experiments". Then whatever we are doing here is a mere echo of a deeper truth, something that by nature is intertwined with everything.

   Master Boshan remarks, "Oblivious to where you will go after you die, how can you not question where you will end up?" (p.7 from Master Sheng Yen, Attaining the Way). Suddenly, the wave knows that it's only a wave and will disappear soon, but before it does, it generates that burning question: who am I really? What part of "me" will leave, and what part of me will stay here after I leave? Some say that it's karma that will stay after our death. While this may be true, we may continue to ask where even karma comes from and whether or not it too is permanent.

  Can our creations--those things that keep us alive and interested-- sustain us? Only, I am afraid, if we see creativity as one wave in the ocean. If I build an elaborate sandcastle and tell the world to take a look and be enthralled, I ought to remember that the castle will not survive as a phenomena. But as an expression of mind, it is the supreme sign. We can say the same about anything we marvel at. The mind creates the elaborate image, then names it, then classifies it by the name. All this elaborate creation, but who is the creator? This is the question that Master Boshan seems to be asking. 

When we look into that mind, does the sandcastle itself not seem all the more precious? Or do we resignedly throw up our hands and say, "Well, I spent so many hours on that beautiful sandcastle, only to find it's so unreal, so destroyed by the coming waves"? I believe that, based on my understanding of Buddha's teachings, the latter reflects nihilism and the belief in a sense of self that stands to gain and lose. The former, on the other hand, reflects an awakening compassion that comes about through a refined awareness of emptiness. In the former case, the creation is so fleeting, yet it is miraculous. What a freely granted gift I have been given to see these things albeit for a brief moment. 

But what does it mean that I am seeing these things? Who is seeing them? This is to be discovered!