Mist Covered Mountains

 Master Sheng Yen used the analogy of the mist covered mountain to describe a lack of ability to know where one is and whether one has "achieved" any kind of liberation or not. I think that he used this analogy for two (very effective, I believe) reasons. Firstly, he wanted to point out how we should enjoy the process more than the destination, perhaps to the point where we don't even look to the destination any longer. Each step (or even misstep) becomes precisely the destination. Secondly, he wanted to point out how self-evaluation of any kind is futile and often delusory, because any judgment we make about ourselves and our progress is always based on a mere concept of self that is not enduring at all. 

   With this metaphor in view (pardon the foggy pun) I have begun to contemplate how all of my life, I have looked for affirmation from others to know that I am doing "ok" or am an "ok person". And as important as the evaluation of behaviors are (they are feedback that is meant to modify our actions, thoughts, behaviors, etc.), there is no ultimate judgment or final point of self-evaluation. This is because the self, like the mist-covered mountain, is only ever a partial view that is subject to continual amendment, change, modification, influx and outflux. That is to say, the self is more like a function of mind than a static concept. There is no security in the sense of self, any more than one can rest securely in the fact that they were able to find a foothold on the previous step of the mountain. 

    The mountain is unpredictable--and it is precisely this unpredictability that makes the journey one of leveling off all distinctions between self and other. The duality of self-other is a kind of distorted perception that comes from false views of comfort and temporary power. Because of my previous success, I think I am secure, not knowing that success is relative to the environment, the bodily and mental conditions, and other conditions. It is subject to continuous change and feedback. This is why feedback is important but we should take it only as the steps on a mountain--they are needed for the moment, but then get superseded by other moments.