Blank Page Anxiety

   The anxiety of the blank page: and how to pluck the courage to overcome such anxiety? It comes from realizing that all words are formless and relative. By no longer thinking of words as "the truth", I see that they are a little bit like the beautiful traces made by cloud chambers: hinting at something but as yet indeterminate. When I let go of the anxiety associated with wanting to find the right words to convey meaning, then I see that the words themselves are spontaneous and magical.

   Same with meditation: I must give up the desire (conscious or subconscious) to make meditation "go a certain way", opting instead to let it unfold just the way it needs to be. Even if I am having a hard time with posture, scattered thoughts, etc. the dedication to that one method of being present allows me to keep returning to the base line. In this way, I can't go wrong.

    The point is not to see the various colors and forms and make a design of it, but to see past the forms, to know that they are like kaleidoscopic colors. Who can be afraid of those forms knowing they are constantly shifting and changing according to the contingencies of the moment?