The Meaning of "Retreat"

   The other day, I was reflecting on the work situation that I am currently going through, as I transition to a mysterious new chapter in my career. I received the hexagram from the I Ching related to retreat, called Tun. It had to do with the idea of retreating away from something difficult and painful, to take stock of what I have rather than to take action. Is retreat always a kind of defeat of sorts? I am sure that this has militaristic terms, but it also has spiritual connotations, as when we say we are "going on retreat". It entails the ability to pool one's own spiritual resources and thereby prevent them from dwindling. It furthermore suggests a storage of energy that is protected from distractions or making rash decisions at the spur of the moment.

   Sometimes, the only thing a person can do is wait--but this waiting I am referring to is not the anxious quality of waiting for something to happen, but more so a quieter sense of dropping all anticipation of easy closure. Whenever I have been stuck in very long meetings, I give myself the mental trick of believing that the meeting will go on much longer than I expected, which then gives me time to settle into the moment and drop the anticipation of a quick finish. This kind of waiting is a commitment to being present rather than a waiting for as when we wait to be at the beginning of the line.

   Retreat can also mean that I don't try to solve situations on my own. Recently, I have found a tendency within myself to press forward and come to an easy or quick resolution, perhaps because I am so used to many things being done quickly in order to get to something else. But sometimes, some part of me just tells me to wait longer until the conditions ripen. Maybe the plans I am making at work are not the way forward for me, but are just ways to stave off the anxiety of not having a plan. But this is more to reflect, do we always need to have a plan? Maybe there is a way that happens independently of one's plans.