New Starts and Gratitude

   This Christmas Eve is the first time I have spent away from family. I would like to reflect on gratitude and how the new year might be one of being grateful.

     Gratitude, at least to my understanding, is not about being positive or joyful about everything that one has. In fact, I think it starts more modestly with taking stock of what a person has. Small things do count, and in fact, turn out to be very big things. Recently, I felt grateful for the fact that I am still working, and can make some kind of income to be able to make choices about my life and how I go about doing it. These kinds of things are gifts, because we never really can create the conditions for them entirely ourselves. At the same time, cherishing those things allows me to feel less attached to setbacks or things that appear to be imperfect to me. I think these kinds of considerations help me to frame gratitude as a way of honoring and respecting what's truly given in life rather than striving for an absolute kind of perfection.

   One other aspect that I am reflecting on recently, is that there is no such thing as an "absolutely" good or "absolutely" terrible situation. There is a symbol in Taoism which reflects a very similar idea, namely that white contains black, and black, conversely, contains white. This visual image, I believe, is supposed to reflect the principles of Yin and Yang, but more so the idea that everything contains its opposite. Extreme pleasure or bliss contains a painful moment; extreme triumph carries the seeds of pride and, hence, failure. Conversely, illness can lead to a discovery of life's preciousness and values; or, a difficulty can make a person more mature and eliminate unnecessary worries or preoccupations. I could go on with these examples, but the point is that there is never a point where a person throws up their hands and says that there is nothing good at all in their life, since everything is nuanced and textured. Hopelessness contains hope, as does its opposite. So when I start to think in this way, my mind softens and I start to actively look for the kinds of things that could be well in my life.

   A lot of what I am thinking on this subject is in alignment with what I have learned from Buddhism, Stoicism and a lot of cognitive psychology--and yes, a bit of Taoism--, but I think it's important to remind myself that these teachings do exist, and can operate on microlevels to curb depressive thoughts or change the direction of one's thinking altogether. I certainly hope that this piece offers some inspiration to learn more about these philosophies.