The Effort of Attention

Real attention, for me, seems to require the suspension of a belief that I am fixed in some way. If I only believe certain images that pertain to me, I will not be using my full attention. I have bought into the belief that I am "only this" and should therefore not expect myself to be something greater or better. This "only this" is the enemy of a full attention, and one sometimes needs to have the self-image shattered to be fully attentive.
  In a way, it is like a contemplation I had yesterday during the meditation: mind encompasses each phenomena, yet is not limited to any phenomena. That is, the mind is flexible enough that it fluidly accommodates every thought and appearance, yet it does not confuse the appearances for its true nature. The emptiness aspect of mind is the latter, while the form is the former. If I get caught in the forms and start to identify myself with the thoughts, I will start to lose the sense of totality. I get fixated on appearances rather than seeing these appearances as parts of a vast and always changing landscape.
   Attention is the effort to see the appearances and behold the thoughts, without rejecting or seeking. For someone attached to forms, it would be hard to resist seeking them out and trying to mine them in some ways for whatever insights they might offer. For someone attached to emptiness, thoughts are seen as the "enemy" which need to be spurned somehow or even suppressed. Neither of these approaches is correct; they both lose sight of nature of form as emptiness. When form is seen as emptiness, then all forms can be embraced, because no forms can be obstacles to awareness. Forms can be entertained, and they can be embraced without attachment