Jealousy as Projection?

 Ken Wilber (2017) introduces an interesting exercise known as "3-2-1", in which the thing that we most dislike or admire starts out as an object that is "out there" (third person), after which one has a conversation with it (second person, or "you") and finally begins to recognize that what is "out there" is really "in here"--that is , it is none other than one's own mind, or mental universe. Shadow work, in which a person owns up to what they project outward onto others, is a process whereby we come to realize that the things we most fear or dislike "out there" are really disowned parts of ourselves. Many of these qualities are fear-provoking only because we project them onto others, rather than integrating those part into ourselves.
   The same, in fact, is true with desirable qualities which we tend to admire in others. If we see something we deem as wonderful or beautiful, or spiritual, etc., it is really ourselves that makes the appraisal, and the overall esteem of the desired person or thing is based on our own deepest experience. It doesn't essentially reside in the person or thing we are appraising but is, rather, a disowned part of ourselves, or at least our own mind. If we doubt this, we might consider the simple example of an heirloom that we treasure or highly value. That heirloom might look beautiful on our mantelpiece, but it takes our own mind and attention to truly see the beauty in the heirloom. It's our own unique quality of giving attention to certain things that brings their value to life, and makes their qualities real, in that moment. In fact, it is we ourselves that do the inner work of beholding the dignity and beauty of the esteemed object. Why admire or envy another person's possessions if it is the mind (one's very own mind, in fact) that is the heart of how, and to what extent, we esteem these things?
   By shifting the wonder of a thing from the prize to the way it is beheld and appreciated, one might come to recognize that all power resides not in things but in the ways that we appraise, appreciate and give attention to things.  This is the love and openness that we might bring to the present,  to bear upon the things around us.

Wilber, K (2017). The Religion of Tomorrow Boston: Shambhala Press.