Intensity is not permanent

Often, when one is worried or consumed by some feeling, they are not yet opened to the totality of the moment. The sense of self is contracted into this one view of self, and one can feel the sense of self rubbing up against that which doesn't uphold the self. Or, it could even be that there is something about their self-presentation that they don't like. I believe we sometimes say that the person has "lost face" or may not even be able to look at themselves for days!
   It's important in these moments to recognize impermanence. A person does not carry an enduring self around them all the time. The sense of discomfort that comes from an invalidating sense of self is really only the arising of provisional conditions, and intensity of discomfort does not equate to permanence. This illusion of intensity as permanent probably comes from a fear of being saddled with something that will stay the same over time. But nothing really stays the same over time.
  Discomfort is most likely to be endured when one recognizes this equation of intensity = permanence is not at all real. I feel something very painful and then project that pain into an imaginary future, thinking it will stay that way. This not only ends up being inaccurate,but it also prolongs unnecessary pain and suffering. I am having this pain,but then also imagining that this pain goes on and on forever! That only multiplies the sense of pain a hundred-fold. It's important to recognize that the intensity of the pain has no relation to a fixed duration.
  In thinking this way, we can relax more with pain and let go of the story line that tries to control it. Pain will go away on it's own; there is no need to create a story to avoid pain or difficulty. But paradoxically, one has to go through it to see that it's impermanent.