The Pressure to Solve

In working life, it's often necessary to solve problems relatively quickly. But in the rest of one's life, things take time to develop. Writing a proposal for school is one example, and here I am reminded of a recent adage attributed to Thomas Edison which states: each failure is a success in the sense of a lesson learned. All these false starts, groping in the dark, and futile attempts to arrive at something grounded and meaningful can often be ways of successfully knowing what doesn't work. Knowing what doesn't work, in other words,  is in itself a form of success.
   Some things do not require solving right away. If stuck in the well of uncertainty, there is often a tendency in me to push myself, thinking that the push will get me up the deep well more quickly. More often than not, that attempt to add pressure often leads to even more delays, because one starts to blame themselves when they can't push themselves hard enough. In those moments, being in the mess of things (and learning to stay in it without succumbing to despair) is an interesting experience in itself.
   I am saying: if one is stuck on not being able to successfully solve a problem, perhaps the actual source of suffering is not the lack of a solution. To the contrary, it's helpful to ask, does this problem need an immediate solution? If so, who says so? What's the hidden expectation underlying the need for a fast solution? Can the solution (for the time being) be no solution at all?
   I think all of this reflects deep fears of being left behind in a well of darkness. But this is a fear that needs to be faced head on, and nor does it need to be avoided. Because it reflects fears of rejection and abandonment that will always keep coming up until one realizes that there is nothing terrible or devastating about either. Life goes on, in its own way.