Embracing Discomfort AND Comfort

 Sometimes when I find myself getting too comfortable with a routine or pace of life, I fall into the trap of thinking that things have to be this way, and not any other way, in order to survive. I reason that the comfort I am enjoying is the best comfort that anyone can have, and guard vigilantly against anything that might appear to attack or disregard that sense of comfort. This is where the self attaches to comfort and wants to feel secure all the time.
  Life doesn't allow for this state of things to last for very long. Instability in one's job or even in family relationships can lead to a sense that the self that I cherish (at the root of all this comfort and stability) is not that stable at all. While some writers such as Pema Chodron (2003)  advocate embracing uncertainty in the face of discomfort, I also suggest that this practice of being with discomfort needn't entail harsh repudiation of comfort or consolation altogether, but can transform into a sense of flexible compassion. This flexible sense of compassion is the permission to feel that things are going to be okay no matter what the situation, and the feeling of uncertainty needn't be a reason to feel depressed.
    "Embracing discomfort" is even a bit of a misnomer, because the term "discomfort" only exists relative to a sense of comfort. To be able to embrace one is also to embrace the other as well. To embrace discomfort is also to embrace the longing for psychic comfort, since without the latter, te former would not exist. I think this is where people might think that they need to be masochistic or denying of comfort in order to practice a spiritual path. But this needn't be so, because both comfort and discomfort are only states of feeling and thinking; it's not necessary to pick one over the other, since they are simply two sides to the same coin.
   I think that the pain of discomfort is always containing a certain softness or a sense of vulnerability that will always be a part of being human. Human beings are so complex, and there is no way to simplify the emotional life by preferring only one state of mind (such as "calm" or even "no emotion"). So I think the tricky part of this is to embrace both the tender longing for comfort (the tender or nurturing side) and the necessity of discomfort and instability, as coming from the same mind and experience. It's almost like a kind of self-empathy! Now, is that even possible? I believe it's possible because a lot of times, one is too busy trying to get out of their skin, and coming back into their skin requires a more compassionate approach to those longings to belong and feel the comfort of others when one is feeling doubt or distress.

Chodron, P. (2003). Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion. Boston: Shambhala