That's Fine Too

 Adage 13 of Master Sheng Yen's sayings notes, "13. Try to cultivate this attitude in life: if I can have what I want, that's good; if I can't, that's fine too. This will help us turn our suffering into joy, and live a happier life". How is this different from Master Sheng Yen's first adage, "Wants are many, needs are few"? I think that it expands on the notion of want by suggesting that wants can teach people about their reactions. If a person wants to live in a bigger or more luxurious house and finds themselves lacking in resources to move, they may react to the desire by putting themselves down ("why can't I get this house? Am I not good enough, rich enough, smart enough, etc?"), or conversely striving to prove that they are somehow entitled to luxurious comforts in life. But I am considering: for every gain, there is an attendant loss; the more one has, the more one needs to maintain it in some way by doing other things. A person might enjoy having a car instead of commuting by train or bus, but the price of a car, besides a monetary one, involves maintenance, insurance, detriment to the environment, fuel costs, traffic jams, etc. So one can then say, "it's good to have a car, but it's equally good not to have one".

   Some people might think that this way of thinking is a cop out or a way of avoiding goal setting. To the contrary, I see this adage as entailing that one has greater tolerance for the bumps and detours that are entailed in having a goal and setting one. People can easily be derailed even if they believe that only one way is good, and that might lead them to despair ever achieving any goal. So I think it's important to think, there are many ways to enjoy the journey and strive and when one road is blocked, another might be found elsewhere.

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