In adage 16 of Master Sheng Yen's 108 Adages, Master Sheng Yen remarks, "To get along with others, we must feel grateful for events that help us grow, feel thankful for chances to hone ourselves, reform ourselves through the Dharma, and inspire others through exemplary behavior." This adage is very complex, to my understanding. For one, what is "growth", and how does one really know that they are growing or not? Also, is this gratitude for the opportunity to "grow" so easy to come by? Sometimes growing can be difficult, and as I alluded to in my first question, we often don't really know whether we are growing or not.
Growing can even feel like stagnation. For example, when a teenager is starting to grow physically into adulthood, they may typically feel that some parts of their bodies are growing more quickly than others, leading to the strange sensation of being constricted in some places. Can a person abide in the understanding that growth sometimes "feels" stagnant? Another example that is found in Biblical lore is the story of Jonah, who is exiled in the belly of a whale. Jonah has no place to move within the whale's belly, but his staying in that confined place is actually a way toward growth. We might not realize that growth is happening until much later, when we are in a position to evaluate growth. On the other hand, a person who consciously looks at what they are doing and delighting in "how far I've come" might not actually be growing! They may simply be reinforcing ingrained habits of thinking that they are growing in certain ways, whereas other ways are being ignored over overlooked. I might think I am very good at riding a bicycle and am improving in that way, but other areas of my life are being overlooked, in the process of honing in on that specific skill. What looks like "improvement" in one area might actually be attachment and ignoring other areas.
I think gratitude doesn't necessarily have to extend only to what we call "growth" experiences, since growth is almost impossible to define. One often doesn't even know the value of an experience until it is placed in the context of another experience. Perhaps the ability to be grateful can simply extend toward experiences and people who help one foster self-awareness. When I am upset with something that a person does or says, I can extend gratitude to that person for helping me to see where I am stuck or what area I need to work on in myself so that I am not getting attached. A good example might be how criticism from someone else might point me to my attachment to approval from others. If I am stuck on the idea that others must "like" me, respect me or approve and endorse everything I do or think, then naturally I will feel more vexation in the face of criticism. Rather than taking the criticism to be a pointer to what I can improve in terms of the work I am doing or actions, I take the criticism "personally" because I am attached to the feeling of being liked or having respect or power as a result of being liked. If I can see past that addiction to being liked or being in power, I can work on the things I need to do or improve without the idea that I need someone's approval to survive I might also be able to better accept the conditions I am in and how I can realistically improve things.
References
http://www.dharmadrum.org/content/about/about2.aspx?sn=46
No comments:
Post a Comment