Parent Child Love

I remember how, when I was very small, I saw a father trying to encourage a very sad child by showing a puppet and speaking through that puppet in soothing words. (This was in a shopping mall called Square One, in a store called Romper Room). The child was having none of it, and kept walking ahead of the father, very upset or angry about something. I remember feeling sad for the father, and even wondering, in my childlike imagination, whether the father would "die" from the lack of affection from his child. Conversely, would the father's love for the child die?
  During my recent trip to Ripley's Aquarium, a child had mistaken me for her father, tugging on my arm and saying, "hold my hand, daddy!" Part of me did wonder, could such a confusion happen between children and their mothers? To this child's credit, the aquarium is a pretty dark place, so perhaps her confusion is understandable. But here again, I begin to question why the child's relationship with their father is always problematic. It's easier to imagine the shattering of the paternal bond than the maternal one, perhaps because mothers are often traditionally nurturing the child very closely, whereas fathers might take on a somewhat more tentative, reluctant role or stance.
   Sometimes I feel that even when a parent's love for their child falters or is met with indifference or apathy, there is a learning opportunity to be had there. Not all feelings "plug into" or easily transfer to the objects of those feelings in ways that feel like a perfect, tight circle. Both parent and child need to adjust to each other's wavelength. Perhaps the same goes for people who are friends or colleagues, but the difference is that adults have a much wider range of choices of how to express themselves. Children are limited by their experience of others, and parents have to find ways to imagine their children's needs before they can connect with them.