Reflection on Suffering

 In his commentary on Shantideva's verses in A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life, Dalai Lama advocates reflection on the suffering that arises from strong emotions and vexations, especially as a way of gaining insights into life as a whole. He notes, "While we find that there are many factors and conditions that cause pain and suffering in our lives, the conditions that would give rise to joy and happiness are comparatively rare." (p.27). Knowing that or moments of joy are a little bit pale in comparison with moments of happiness, can we reorient ourselves to suffering in a way that it becomes more like a blessing?
   I can think of at least two scenarios in which this would make sense. The first scenario is that we can think of suffering as a kind of teacher, who trains us in the art of tolerance and allows us to see our own reactions. If I experience irritation with a stranger, what does that say about me as a practitioner? In knowing how I interact with others, I can obtain a very sharp and clear (sometimes) understanding of where I might be stuck, and the places where I might need to find new coping strategies to frame healthy responses to the situation. The second scenario is that suffering can force us to a place of renunciation, where we no longer hold onto ideals that are untenable or dreams that don't have substance in our lives.
  The third value of suffering which is not mentioned in Dalai Lama's text was given to me at a Surangama Retreat held by Venerable GuoXing many years ago. GuoXing Fashi used the analogy of swallowing the hot pepper to describe one particular orientation to suffering when one is on the cushion. Some people might think that swallowing hot peppers is a form of torture, and might even question the sanity of the person who decides to do it. But there is actually something satisfying that comes from knowing that I can reverse a traditional equation of "pleasure" with "seeking" and "pain" with "avoiding" behavior. I can learn to see the frustrating or somewhat unpleasant experience in a way that I start to befriend it. I experiment with the idea that things around me are not desirable or undesirable in themselves, but are granted those traits by my attitude and relationship toward them.
   I want to use another example from Greek mythology and that is Medusa. Medusa was punished by Athena for an affair with Poseidon by being transformed from a beautiful maiden to a very hideous monster with snakes for heads. We rarely see Medusa as a pitiable character in Greek mythology who is worthy of compassion: all the mythical books immediately label her as a kind of villain simply by virtue of her appearance. Medusa is given the label of "bad", yet we never consider, what would life look like from her eyes? I think this extends to the idea that what we sometimes think of as an unpleasant experience is actually only one of many possible narratives we can select from to frame that experience.
  We can not only learn to experiment with different framing of things but we may also, in some circumstances, go beyond framing itself to contemplate where all these frames originate, and whether we, as "subjects" are really bound to stay in one particular frame or not.

Dalai Lama (2018). Perfecting Patience: Buddhist Techniques to Overcome Anger. Boulder: Snow Lion