In chaos

 This year's end, I find myself in something of a bit of chaos.I believe that part of the problem I am in is that so much is uncertain about work and about what the future holds for me. So much about how I 'measure' myself is simply unknown, and hardly comes to reflect what I have done or what I have the potential to do. And so much in the future itself is simply not knowable at all.
   Being in chaos is not all that bad, as long as a person is not hankering for some pre-existing order. One of the things I am interested in learning with my junior class is the process of creativity and how it never yields neat results: there are cycles in which we are successful sometimes and are lost in other times. Being "lost" is often, in fact, the start of something new and exciting: it's "newness" hatching somewhere here and there in fact.
   I think being in chaos is perfectly fine as long as one is not being so ridiculously attached to order and rigidity. But chaos is sometimes the process of learning to negotiate some amount of order as one gets their bearings in a new place and new expectations.