The Shock of Vulnerability

   When people are suddenly removed from the comfort zone of familiarity, they may be shocked to realize that all people are much more than their roles combined. A good example has occurred to me recently, when I have asked a server at a restaurant or in a retail store if they had something in stock, only to be met with bewilderment verging on laughter. I had to stop myself  to ask, am I saying it the wrong way? Going to a Circuit City and asking for a power cord for a laptop suddenly becomes a cause for bewilderment. Power cord? the server asks me, Well, we have a charger. Is that what you mean? A second chance to clarify my question leads to a gentle smile and shaking of the head. I feel alienated by these encounters.
   When a question that seems initially reasonable to ask is met with bewilderment, there is a thwarting of an expectation. I expect the server to be knowledgeable, but I also expect them to be somehow wanting to understand the customer. But in fact, these expectations are based on little more than past experience combined with a stereotypical idea of what it means for customer service to "serve". Whether this is changing or not in today's world is open to question, but I am beginning to realize nonetheless that people are more than the sum of their roles: people have distinct personalities, and no role can stifle those personalities. To expect that anyone in any capacity "should" behave as per a standard is asking for too much at times, and it is a pause for me to wonder: when I am interacting with people, do I expect too much from them? Somehow in an interesting way what I expect and desire is acceptance and love, even from the stranger!
   The shock of vulnerability? Well, I think it's the shock of realizing that who I thought I understood by virtue of the role they are playing in the social world isn't at all what I expected, and I am left with the sense of having embarrassed myself in front of someone I would not have normally been so "courageous" to approach in the first place. And it's the sting of realizing that in daily life, one simply cannot with any accuracy predict how one will be accepted by others, or whether they will be accepted at all. But this vulnerability is also very precious, if one opens up to the vulnerability as a thing in itself rather than trying to "solve"  it. To be vulnerable is to be open to the infinity of myself and others, which cannot be reduced to a role, an expectation or a desire. If one is just open to being vulnerable without interpreting that vulnerability in a negative way (eg. as embarrassment for not "doing the right thing" or "asking the right question", "approaching the right person" etc), then the vulnerability becomes a flash of insight or even awakening. But let's face it: it feels more like a burst of cold shower water on a winter's morning.