Today, I just learned that one of the colleagues I work with is leaving the company. Whether by choice or not, I can never be sure, but I notice that each time this happens, it's like a kind of familiar face falls away. I wonder to what extent, when we meet people, we identify "home" with those people, especially those whom we interact with on a daily basis.
The tendency to identify with others is probably a survival trait that we have acquired through our evolution as a species. If everyone in a group were nothing more than a "face", I would not associate any particular emotions, likes, or attitudes with that face, and the group would not cohere very well. Could the notion of "face" be an offshoot of the need for groups to preserve themselves? I am not an anthropologist, but perhaps it's a safe guess.
I also believe that we learn about ourselves when we learn about others, and there is a complex process that happens when I sort out "who I am" in the light of those around me. I tend to find that when I can feel that I am coexisting with someone else without competing with them for resources, I feel more "safe", but their leaving opens the door for another complex "working out" of mutual assistance and identities. It's a bit like "starting over" and having to navigate the uncertainties in not knowing who the next person will be who occupies the new position. All of these factors can contribute to the destability that people often feel when those around them shift to new spaces.
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