Our Suffering "Stories"

 I find it interesting that Buddhism does not have a story about "origination". Whereas some religions offer a story to describe the fall of humanity or how (and why) human beings came to know suffering, Buddhism does not try to look for a temporal origin of suffering. As Master Sheng Yen notes in Tea Words Volume II:

The Judeo-Christian religions talk about Genesis as a time when everything began, but Buddhism sees time as without beginning or end, and sentient beings have known suffering since time without beginning (p.32)

I am reminded of how we often try to look for the underlying "beginning" of our suffering, much the same way as a forensic scientist might look at the scene of the crime to see who is responsible or who perpetrated the action. While it's certainly important to establish responsibility for one's actions, it's equally crucial not to get so attached to the stories themselves, particularly if they serve to polarize people into "villains" or "victims". When one gets caught up in the mindset of trying to establish these two roles, they often end up exacerbating suffering. It contributes to a mindset of self-righteous indignation or even a nostalgia--a longing for a golden time when there was no conflict or suffering.

What does a person do when they get caught into the mindset of looking for the cause of suffering in something specific (a person, place or thing)? I think it's helpful to reflect on what Buddhism refers to as time being "without beginning or end". When I can conceive my suffering as part of an endless cycle, I am no longer trying to grasp the cause of suffering by focusing only on one spoke in the wheel. It's counterproductive to do so, because that spoke in the wheel is only on in a series of endless cycles. But does this lead to a sense of hopelessness or pessimism? On the contrary, it demands that we look to the mind that is not involved in this endless miserable cycle.

Each time a person is caught in their ruminations on "who did what" or "whose fault is it", they have a choice: either follow the thoughts to their conclusions or see beyond thought itself. I am much more interested in the latter, since the former often leads to a very tight, constricted mindset as well as a drainage of energy. If I am always looking for the culprits of my suffering in the phenomena themselves, I am putting all my energy into things which never had any permanence to begin with, and my mind gets stuck. Whatever it is that I worried about is already gone: the conditions have changed to something else, so why dwell on that particular configuration of things? When I cultivate such a mindset, I realize that any number of dilemmas can arise in human existence, and there is no sense in quibbling over who is right or wrong when that too has passed.

Many people might see this attitude as too passive: not getting anything accomplished or addressing the problems of life. I see it differently: the goal is not to do something at all, but rather to have an insight into the real sources of suffering, which lie in one's state of mind. When I get too attached to what I want to happen or insist on happening (as though this were an ultimate goal), I lose sight of what is happening and even what is beneficial about what is happening. I lose sight of the present, even overlooking my own suffering when I insist that things go only one way, not other ways. I give others very little room to have their own experiences, because I am looked into this idea that everything should be exactly as I want it to be. Such an idea eventually leads to a mentality of having to manipulate others into getting what I want! But this only leads to distrust and more suffering, because people no longer believe that others respect them; it is all just a game for people to play to get the things they want.

When I am able to see that all sentient beings suffer from being on a wheel, I have room to be more compassionate, and to realize that everyone is on the same boat, regardless of philosophic outlook, temperament, skills and so on. In this way, I lose the ability to be flexible. Alas, that is sad that I am so rigid in my thinking.

Sheng Yen (2013), Tea Words Volume II. Elmhurst NY: Dharma Drum Publications