Allowing Depressed States

 In Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, Chogyam Trungpa notes, "Whenever the possibility of depression arises and the feeling of loss is about to occur, the defensive nature of ego immediately brings to mind memories and words we have heard in the past in order to comfort us. Thus ego is continually looking for inspiration which has no root in the present; it is a continual running back. This is the more complicated action of self-deception: one does not allow depression to come into being at all" (p.68). What this chapter alludes to is how depressive states of being tend to be suppressed in favour of soothing words. Instead of facing the depressed state and realizing that it is inherently "okay" for these states to emerge in mind, one tends to try to use positive messages and images to cover over that depressed state. But perhaps it can be meaningful not to run away at all, let alone to even create meaning around the depressed state.
    Many depressed states do indeed relate to "the feeling of loss", but who wants to feel loss? Perhaps the journey of meditation itself is learning to accept losses in small increments. In having the space not to surround our bodies with comfortable sensations, let alone control what comes in or leaves mind, there is this tiny space where nothing happens: there are no plot lines, no "punch lines" and no stories to follow in that brief, quiet space where one is just letting the emotions emerge in themselves. But this sense of loss can then extend toward being able to be in uncomfortable situations without necessary spinning into disconnected states. I still need to work with the things in this world and function as a person in relation to others, so it's necessary that I remain engaged even if I do have uncomfortable feelings. But being with those feelings simultaneously with engaging in the world can be a very good skill to know and understand. I think this kind of skill could also be nurtured by not preventing learners from reading about the sadder states of mind that have come over many people in different walks of life, be they scholars or political figures, etc. But what I think most impresses me about Rinpoche's approach is the promise that darkness contains a lot of richness, and one can stay in that place for a while to become acquainted with it without necessarily losing one's sense of responsibilities to life and to others.

Trungpa, Chongyam (1973), Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. Boulder: Shambhala